Growing up, I used to keep a journal with a special section titled “Things My Parents Did Wrong That I’m Never Going To Do.”

Younger me was pretty dramatic.

But now that I’m older, I find myself crossing so many things off that list I made so many years ago that the list should almost be renamed “Things My Parents Did That I’m Thankful For Now.”

I complained that my parents never spent enough time with me. I didn’t think they listened to me. I always thought they were being too hard on me. I was forever the picture of older child rebellion, except for the fact that more than anything in the entire world I craved my parents’ approval. So, I tried to keep my mouth shut, and whenever I felt wronged sometimes I would yell about it, but eventually I learned to just write it down in my little learning guide for my future parenting.

Being the selfish kid I was, I thought the only purpose of their rules was to ruin my life. On more than one occasion, I found their punishments unreasonable and their standards unreachable.

At age 20, I now understand. My parents couldn’t make it to some tennis matches or orchestra concerts because they were busy working to make sure I had a comfortable life to live. They listened to me, but were not afraid to correct me when I was wrong, which was often. And they were never harder on me than they needed to be – they were just hard enough to help me reach all the potential I had that I couldn’t see.

As I finish my second year of college, I can’t even begin to express how thankful I am for the upbringing I had and the parents I’ve been blessed with.

My parents have taught me never to expect anything – every privilege I have must be earned. The right to hang out with friends and even the right to date has been determined by the level of respect I treat my parents and the grades I’ve earned.  I am fortunate enough that my parents have never demanded that I work to pay for the things I want. The only thing my parents have ever asked of me is respect and good grades – a promise to them that in the future, I have a plan and I will be okay. And after everything they’ve done for me and the sacrifices they’ve made, I think that’s the least I could do.

I’ve been constantly challenged to prove why I deserve to have the rights I want. Did I want to stay out later than 1am on Homecoming my senior year of high school? Yes? Then maybe I should have been doing better in my AP classes. Did I want to go to that one party? Yes? Then maybe I shouldn’t have lied to my parents about my whereabouts the day before it.

I have been treated with nothing but fairness, and on the principle that if I want something, I better have a reason why I deserve it. This has not changed since I’ve gone to college. From two and a half hours away, my parents understand they can’t stop me from going out on a Wednesday night or spending a weekend in Memphis with my friends, but they made sure I knew that at the end of the semester I damn well better bring home the grades to prove I can handle managing my own life. And the fact I can do that makes me prouder than ever.

Everything your parents do is for you. Shouldn’t everything you do be for them too?

Mom and Dad –

I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve given me, from the material items to the life lessons I needed. Thank you for always making me earn my privileges, defend my mistakes and make my own choices. Thank you for standing by me as I went from pre-med to journalism to pre-law. Thank you for calling me out when I was acting too spoiled or too ungrateful. And thank you for always believing in me.

Love,

Claudia