Never, in my 20 years of life thus far, have I understood the term, “Only the good die young.”

“But why must the good die young?” is always my first question. So far, no one’s really been able to answer it. If they were so good, why did they have to go? In a world that constantly struggles with the balance between good and bad, why would you take the good and leave the bad? Does this just encourage us to be bad, because the bad don’t go young?

Someone told me it’s just a saying to make us all feel better, but to be frank I don’t feel much better about it at all. In fact, it infuriates me. It’s unfair. And I don’t like the term “unfair.” I usually think it is an overused, excuse of a term that is whiny-sounding.

But given the tragedy that happened in a Newtown, Connecticut yesterday, unfair truly defines this horrific nightmare.

26 lives were taken too early. 20 of them were children. Twenty. 20 of our most precious gifts were ripped from our world before they even reached half the age I am now. Where is the fairness in that? Where’s the justice in that? Ever since I first read about the shooting that shocked this small, well-to do town, I can’t stop thinking about the lives these children left behind, uncompleted.

They didn’t get to say goodbye to their families one last time. For many, they had only experienced 5 holiday seasons before they were gone. It’s unfair.

They didn’t get to understand why this was happening to them. They were too young to know the good and evil in this world before they were confronted with it head on. It’s unfair.

They didn’t even get the chance to make their own mistakes and learn from them, to mature and experience the trials and tribulations of growing up that we all took for granted. It’s unfair.

And they were stripped of their full potential before any of us got to see what they could become.

This is nothing but unfair.

These lives were lost far, far too early. Kids should never be faced with the kind of terror that was running rampant in their elementary school sanctuary. Parents should never have to bury their children. All the good should never die young.

What can we take from this? For me, the hardest part of reading about national tragedy after national tragedy is trusting society again. I never want to leave my house for days after something like this happens. I was scared to go to class in the weeks following the shooting of Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords. I refused to go to the movie theater for months because of the Aurora, Colorado shooting. I’m still trying to determine how to buy my Christmas presents without going to the mall after the Oregon shooter. It’s hard for me to take anything from these situations but fear.

But all these children died, most before they even reached double-digit ages. They will not have died in vain. I must take something from this, something more than debilitating fear of the outside world, in order to ensure that their lives were not lost so early for nothing. There is always a reason, and God always has a plan.

We must use this unfathomable tragedy to change our society. This should start conversations that need to happen – not fights. It’s crazy to me to think that a day marred by physical violence continued with on-air and online fighting of people both defending gun rights and calling for gun control. Out of respect for the victims, we could at least handle this with a little less brutality than what got us in the situation in the first place. No, fighting is not the answer to our problems. An eye for an eye solves nothing.

As a country, we must recognize that these problems can’t be solved unless we work together. We must understand that there is not just one solution. Gun control alone will not solve the problem. Addressing mental illness alone will not solve the problem. And dividing ourselves into two sides will sure as hell not solve any of these problems.

Yesterday, President Barack Obama gave a short press conference about the shooting, during which he wiped away tears and took several deep breathes before being able to continue. Many people recognized what I did as well, when I watched this withered man on television display most of the emotions we were all struggling with at home. Yesterday, President Obama was not a Democrat, not a politician, not on one side or the other – President Obama was a father. More than that, President Obama was a human.

What keeps me going back into this world that has let me down far too often in the short amount of time I’ve been on this planet is the hope that we will come together and move past this. That one year, the statistics will not be worse than the year preceding it. That one day, we can stop ranking the worst mass murders in this country and instead live in one where every place that is supposed to be safe – the movies, the mall, our schools – is safe without question. I truly, honestly believe that we can be the United States and fix a problem that is too deadly to continue. Our nation is great, and our nation will rise to the challenge.

We should do this for ourselves. We should do this for our future generations. And we should do this for those 20 children, may their young souls rest in peace.