Cosmopolitan Magazine recently published an article by Tess Koman headlined, “Confession: Why getting hazed by my sorority was weirdly worth it.”

And all of the sudden, years of good Greek Life/sorority PR went haywire.

But, I have my own confession: I was never hazed and it was completely worth it.

I received a bid to the Omicron chapter of Alpha Phi at the University of Missouri on August 21, 2010. From that day until October 4, 2010, my initiation date, my pledge class and I were considered coveted, perfect new members of the sorority of our dreams.  We were showered in gifts, advice, and love from older members. Never once was I hazed, and never once was I treated as anything other than equal sister of Alpha Phi.

In her article, Koman says, “Pledging a sorority was at once one of the best and worst decisions I’ve ever made.” Ms. Koman, I beg to differ.

Pledging a sorority was one of the best decisions I have ever made and there is not a day I look back and wish I had done anything differently. Pledging a sorority doesn’t mean “bonding” with your sisters through embarrassment and shame by performing obscene, inappropriate acts in front of male fraternity members. It doesn’t mean calling your mother hysterical at times when pledgeship gets too hard. And it sure as hell does not mean disrespecting yourself by standing naked in a basement and letting your “sisters” call out your every imperfection.

Pledging a sorority means bonding in the house TV room with The Bachelor or the Oscars on the television, McDonalds bags and Taco Bell wrappers strewn about. It means calling your mother because you just can’t wait to tell her how amazing your big, your little, your entire best damn pledge fam is. It means knowing you’ve found your best friends for life, who love you and will always support you despite your imperfections.

Pledging a sorority means leaving a better woman than you once were.

I am a proud sorority girl, and I was never hazed.

Ms. Koman, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you were made to feel insignificant, inferior, and anything less than your true worth just to be accepted into a group that should have accepted you without question. I’m sorry that you found your joys in college by bossing around and terrorizing younger girls like you once were yourself. And I’m so, so sorry you never got to realize how truly life changing the bonds of sisterhood can be without hazing.

As for me, I’ve found sisters and friends who have stood by me even on the worst days of my life, not created them. I’ve found the girls who I know will stand by me on every important day of my life; the day I receive my JD, the day I marry the man of my dreams, the day I have my own future baby Alpha Phi. I’ve had memories to last a lifetime with a sisterhood that will last a lifetime. I’ve had nothing but a wonderful experience in Greek Life and Ms. Koman, I wish you could have experienced what I have. I wish you could have lived the joys of my sorority experience and realized that hazing is NEVER worth it because a sisterhood like this isn’t something you earn – it’s something you deserve.

“Being in a sorority is more than just fun parties and cool t-shirts. It’s about finding your soul mates, people who understand you even when you don’t always understand yourself. It’s about finding yourself and setting a positive example in hopes of one day breaking the stereotype. It’s tradition and wearing your letters proudly. Not for your own self dignity, but in honor of the morals and values set forth by the women who made this whole experience possible.”