For a long time, I struggled with whether or not I wanted to write this post. I struggled with whether or not my opinions are valid, whether this was a topic I was allowed to comment on, whether it was okay, or “PC,” or acceptable that I put in my two cents into such a controversial topic. I struggled with balancing the objective view of what’s happening at my alma mater with my extremely emotional, personal views on a school that I both loved and immensely enjoyed my time at.

But I realized those questions are part of the problem. And so, I decided to write.

* * *

When I was a sophomore at Mizzou, I attended a fraternity party that was also being attended by several basketball players. We had a pretty good team that year (notwithstanding the NCAA tournament, okay) and it was kind of a big deal they were there, until a member of the fraternity threw out the n-word. Immediately, he was taken out of his own fraternity house, and the basketball players left, pledging never to return. That wasn’t my first experience with racism at Mizzou, nor was it my last.

As an Asian-American, I too was a minority at Mizzou. For the most part, I did not experience racism, and for that I am thankful. For me, racism was not someone crossing the street because they saw me coming, or having a hateful word slung at me as I walked through campus at night. For me, racism was a guy thinking an acceptable pick up line is, “Hey, I’ve never done it with an Asian before” or “I could eat you like a plate of sashimi.” For me, racism was strangers saying, “Wow your name is Claudia? That’s a lot more normal than I thought it was going to be. Your English is good too.” For me, racism was friends ending sentences with “You’re – insert seemingly positive compliment here – for an Asian.”

But for me, racism was a collection of separate, individual experiences done by humans who either didn’t have the education to know better or the sophistication to do better. And for me, that is how I suspect most racist encounters have occurred at the University of Missouri. I refuse to make this into racism by Mizzou when it is actually racism within Mizzou, to rush to make this narrative about us vs them like some of the national media coverage has done. (Not all.) I refuse to take anything away from Mizzou, because my experiences there, the good and even those not so good, shaped who I am today. I refuse to paint Missouri as the bad guy.

But, I cannot and will not say that what I’ve gone through is comparable to what those who are protesting now are going through. I cannot and will not say that racism does not exist on Mizzou’s campus. I cannot and will not say that there is not a problem. Because if we have learned anything from these tumultuous days at Mizzou, it is that there is most certainly a problem. The time to address it was yesterday. But if not yesterday, then the time to address it is now.

The question becomes then, how do we address this? How do we channel our anger, our sadness, our desire for change into productive energy that makes the campus we step on tomorrow better than the one we stepped on today?

* * *

I don’t believe there is a right answer to this question. I don’t believe there is a silver bullet that solves the problems that this question brings to light. I don’t believe that taking the jobs of two men will solve the problem. I don’t believe allowing denial to run our leadership solves the problem, either. But I especially don’t believe that taking sides will bring us any closer to equality than we were to begin with.

The events that have transpired at Missouri over the last few days have led people into two camps: 1) With the protestors or 2) Against the protestors. Tim Wolfe or no Tim Wolfe.  The “right” side of history or the “wrong” side. Media or no media. Anti-racism or racist. My opinion or your opinion.

Unfortunately for us, this situation is not as binary as we want it to be. This situation is not about picking a side and digging in your heels. This situation is not about YOUR side or THEIR side. Whatever you think the narrative is at Mizzou, whether you think this is a story of running racism, or administration ineptitude, or First Amendment rights – and I think it’s a little bit of all of the above – the floodgates have been opened. The discussions are here. The arguments are here. The opportunity for change is here.

Yesterday was the day for blame. Yesterday was the day for anger. Yesterday was the day to realize that the problems at Mizzou go so much deeper than where we’ve convinced ourselves they have been.

But today is the day for productivity. Today is the day to talk about it. Today is the day for recognizing the problems we found yesterday and taking a step forward in fixing them. Today is the day to stop shouting.

Not everyone has the right opinion, but everyone has the right to their opinion.

Regardless on what side you choose to take on this issue, I encourage you to take today to listen to the other side. To realize that there is a real problem at Mizzou that is being exposed through these protests and there are real people experiencing real prejudice at the hands of some of our classmates. To realize that it is just some of our classmates, not all, and making demands, taking jobs, and pushing journalists only discredits your cause and your struggles, not enhances them. To listen to not just the problems that have been expressed out loud, but the ones that have revealed themselves in our reactions to these events.

To realize that at the end of the day, we are all One Mizzou.

* * *

And now, I speak directly to the protestors. I urge you to reconsider your ban on the media, to realize that’s becoming the new national narrative, instead of the necessary and important change you are advocating. I implore you to recognize that unless we hear from you, unless we hear your stories and your struggles, we will never understand. I challenge you to remember that Tim Wolfe lost his job because he failed to respond and his silence was taken for indifference. I encourage you to work with us, not against us, because we too are working for the same goal.

In the end, I decided to write this column because I, like everyone who has read about these events and participated in these events, love Mizzou. I decided to write this column because I, like everyone, want to see Mizzou become a better place. I decided to write this column because I, like everyone, believe my opinions are worth expressing. So are yours. So are theirs. Will we listen?